The Ability to Answer the Question "Why?"

"What happens when you die?" Ever since I was a child, I was terrified of this question. Am I nothingness for eternity after death? But what is eternity without "me"? When I started thinking about it, I couldn't sleep at night. Facing death, I felt that I couldn't rely on family or friends. It was as if I were standing all alone in the dark, and I would break out in a cold sweat.

Now, when it was time to take the university entrance exams, I initially wanted to enter the Faculty of Economics. It wasn't that I was interested in economics, but rather it was based on the shallow idea that it would be advantageous for finding a job. However, I just couldn't bring myself to study. In the end, I spent two years as a *rōnin*, a student studying for university entrance exams.

At this rate, I would never move forward. I decided that I didn't care if I couldn't make a living; I would confront the problem of "death" that was stuck in my head and wouldn't let go. With that in mind, I shifted my focus to the Faculty of Letters. Among them, I decided to aim for the Major in Philosophy at the prestigious Keio University.

After enrolling, I didn't join any clubs and just immersed myself in my lectures. Having been forced to do boring exam studies for three years, I was overjoyed to be able to study what I loved. I took every lecture that interested me, from the study of hypnotism to Christian mysticism. The appeal of Keio's Faculty of Letters is that you can study a wide variety of specialized subjects across different fields.

As for the crucial issue of "death," I deepened my understanding through various lectures.

Looking back at history, I came to understand that the modern perception of "it's all over when you die" is actually quite unique. For example, in medieval Christian society, death was seen as a release from hardship. In Japan, there is also an ancient belief in returning to nature.

In other words, I realized that my "fear of death" was specific to the modern era. To grasp the true nature of this fear, I needed to learn from scratch about the Western culture, religion, and languages that created modern society. The Major in Philosophy had professors specializing in every era, from classical to contemporary studies. I was fortunate to be able to advance my research in such an environment. It's also a fond memory to have held reading groups with my friends and devoured books.

As for my future career, I wanted to continue my research, but having spent two years as a *rōnin*, I didn't have the academic ability to keep up. At the very least, I wanted a job related to the books that had taught me about the wider world when I was just moping around thinking about death, so I decided to apply to publishing companies.

I currently work for a weekly magazine. It may seem like an industry far removed from philosophy, which builds on abstract arguments, but there are commonalities.

That is, to answer the question "why?" For example, if there's gossip or a scandal, readers want to know why it happened. So we go to the scene to conduct interviews and research past documents. We gather information and think of a convincing reason.

At Mita, there were many small-group seminars, and in every class, I was challenged by professors and fellow students with the question, "Why do you think so?" I would break out in a cold sweat as I desperately read books to find answers, but now I realize that those experiences have become a great asset. I strongly encourage current students to engage in lively discussions in seminars and reading groups. And to deepen those discussions, please buy lots of books. That way, people like me can make a living and survive another day.