I'm Not Good at Giving Speeches. | Motohiro Tsuchiya, Vice-President / Professor, Graduate School of Media and Governance
October 29, 2024
One of the things I honestly find difficult about being a dean or a Vice-President (among many) is giving speeches. Everyday greetings like "Good morning" or "Otsukaresama desu" are no trouble, but I feel daunted when asked to "say a few words" at an event. It would be great if I could really just end with a single word like "Hello," but if I did that, I'd probably be told, "A little more, please."
When I was on the requesting side, I certainly asked deans and Vice-Presidents to give many speeches. It wasn't that I had anything specific I wanted them to say. I think it was more about how having them come and say something would make the event feel complete. I don't recall anything that anyone said on those occasions (my apologies).
Considering that, I should probably just take it easy when I'm asked to speak, but I still have to saysomething. For international students and guests from overseas, I often used the 10,000-yen banknote featuring Yukichi Fukuzawa. Many foreigners are surprised when I pull a 10,000-yen bill from my pocket and say, "This is the founder of Keio University." So, it was a huge blow when the portrait was changed to Eiichi Shibusawa in July. I wish it had stayed the same until my term ended.
That said, it's increasingly common these days for visitors to Japan to pay for everything with a credit card and not exchange any currency, so it's becoming rarer for our international guests to have a 10,000-yen bill in their wallets.
Since around the end of last year, in a fit of desperation, I've been making sour-grapes remarks like, "It's fine that the design is changing. Japan is finally becoming a cashless society." On a few occasions, I even said, "Japan is also focusing on the SDGs and working hard on recycling used paper. If you have any unwanted 10,000-yen bills, Keio University will collect them!" I have never received a single one.
It's a pain to have lost one of my go-to speech topics. In fact, I don't have any other reusable material. The line "I had a generative AI write this speech for me" feels like it's been used thousands of times around the world, so it feels a bit dated now. For a while, I have a feeling I'll be continuing with, "You see, there was this 10,000-yen bill that was used until July 2024..." I'm not good at giving speeches.