Taking on an Acrostic Poem with "O-Ka-Shi-Ra" | Hitoshi Takano (SFC Administrative Director)
2013.06.17
*This time's theme: An acrostic poem using "okashira."
The prompt this time is to create an acrostic poem using the word "okashira."
I believe this is also done in segments like the *ōgiri* on Nippon TV's *Shōten*, but I think its origins probably lie in the *oriku* (acrostics) found in *waka* (or *tanka*) poetry.
A famous example is in chapter 9 of "The Tales of Ise," where the syllables of "ka-ki-tsu-ba-ta" are used to begin each of the 5-7-5-7-7 syllable lines of a poem expressing the feelings of a journey.
Karagoromo
kitsutsu narenishi
tsuma shi areba
harubaru kinuru
tabi o shizo omou
"Karagoromo kitsutsu narenishi tsuma shi areba harubaru kinuru tabi o shizo omou"
In the notation of *waka* from that era, voiced sound marks (*dakuten*) were not used, so "kakitsubata" could also be "kakitsuhata."
Now, about creating a composition with "okashira" at the beginning of each line. Following the tradition mentioned above, I'd like to compose it as an acrostic poem. Since there are five syllables, I've included "nikki" (diary) for the last one. Please read it as the "Okashira Diary."
Okashira no
kangae hiroku
shirashimeyo
raku ni waaranedo
nikki ni tsuzure
"Okashira no kangae hiroku shirashimeyo raku ni waaranedo nikki ni tsuzure"
Since I was included as a contributing member of the Okashira Diary, I've become more concerned than ever about its updates. However, although the order of contributors is set, the updates are infrequent, perhaps because everyone is so busy. If a manuscript doesn't arrive for some time after the deadline, the person in charge has no choice but to skip that contributor and ask the next person in line. If that next person also has trouble submitting their manuscript, the intervals between updates become even longer.
For the previous theme of "The Olympics," the entry written by Dean K in June before the games began was followed by a lack of updates during the most exciting period of the event, and I can't help but feel we missed an opportunity. By the time I posted on this theme, it was after the debriefing session for the participating athletes, around the time the autumn winds began to blow.
In light of this situation, the poem above expresses my hope that all the "okashira" (leaders) will submit their manuscripts for the Okashira Diary on time, even though I know it's not easy amidst their busy schedules.
When creating an acrostic, five syllables work well for a *tanka* and three for a *haiku*, but for four syllables, a *dodoitsu* might be a good choice. A *dodoitsu* is composed of four phrases with a 7-7-7-5 syllable structure.
Since many may not be familiar with *dodoitsu*, I'll provide some examples from the "Dodoitsu" entry on Wikipedia.
• Horete kayoeba senri mo ichiri aezu ni kaereba mata senri
• Koi ni kogarete naku semi yori mo nakanu hotaru ga mi o kogasu
"Okashira" has four syllables, so let's try to compose one in this *dodoitsu* format.
Ōba Endō
Kamakura Kaidō
Shōnan no natsu
raifutaun
(Ōba-Endō, Kamakura Kaidō, summer in Shōnan, Lifetown)
I arranged place names near SFC and the historic Kamakura Kaidō road, contrasting these words that evoke the old days with the modern "Lifetown" in the final phrase. I connected them with the season of "summer," common to both past and present. The syllable counts are eight and six, but if you treat the "u" sound as a long vowel, I think the rhythm isn't bad. However, above all, a *dodoitsu* isn't chic unless it's more amorous, but I hope you'll forgive me as this is an acrostic.
(Date of publication: 2013/06/17)