Yasuko Hososaka: On the Station Platform

2024/11/19

On my way home, I was waiting for a train at a station. On the platform, a mother with an infant in a stroller was scolding a boy who appeared to be her eldest child, about four or five years old. From what I could overhear, she had asked him many times before leaving if he needed to use the bathroom, but he had insisted he was fine. Then, just as they were about to leave the house, he suddenly needed to go, causing them to miss their intended train, which seemed to have ignited the mother's anger. The mother scolded the boy in a harsh tone, and the boy repeatedly apologized, saying, "I'm sorry." In the end, the mother kicked the boy.

I wondered what I should have done. While the mother was scolding the child, I kept thinking, but no good solution came to mind. I felt that even if I said to the child, "You won't do it again, right? You'll go to the bathroom next time," or if I said to the mother, "Your child is already reflecting on it, so please forgive him," it would only add fuel to the fire. I considered saying to the mother, "Child-rearing is tough, isn't it? It's amazing that you're raising two children," but I also worried I might be ignored as a creepy lady. In that moment, I abandoned my moral responsibility as a third party.

The mother's actions seemed to go beyond discipline. I know nothing about the background of that parent and child. Perhaps the boy had repeated the same thing many times and the mother had reached the end of her rope, or perhaps she is usually a very kind mother but was frustrated that day due to a series of unpleasant events. Even so, kicking a child is inexcusable.

How can we reduce the actual burden and the sense of burden of childcare for mothers? Increasing financial aid and childcare support so that a mother doesn't have to handle parenting alone would likely be effective. Educational interventions that provide models for mothers might also be necessary. Child-rearing takes place within the home and is usually invisible to others. This is one of the major obstacles to transforming childcare. Nevertheless, I felt that we need to find ways for those of us around them to act when we witness inappropriate parenting practices.

While praying in my heart that she would forgive him, I ended up parting ways with the parent and child without being able to do anything, partly because I was waiting for a train going in a different direction. I hoped that before the boy went to sleep that night, he would be held tightly by his mother.