Recommendations for "Non-Serious" Caregiving as Taught by a Doctor

There are countless books in this world offering advice and mindsets from the perspective of the caregiver. These books provide specific techniques and mental approaches—such as how to interact, how to speak, and how to handle emergencies—based on actual caregiving experience, or they realistically describe the emotions of the caregiver.

In the 40-plus years since I began working with elderly facilities as a physician, I have interacted with many elderly people and their families. One thing that has always concerned me is the gap between the lifestyle and care desired by the family members who place their loved ones in a facility and the elderly individuals who are placed there.

What many families want is a regular daily routine: eating three meals without leftovers, bathing every day, and as much rehabilitation as possible. What the individuals themselves want is a life as carefree as possible, depending on their mood at that moment. They want to wake up when they wake up, eat what they like, bathe once a week (which is plenty), and they wonder why they should work hard at rehabilitation now—what are they supposed to do after that?

Now that I myself am over 80 years old, I am still active in my work and am not in a state of needing what is commonly called caregiving. However, over the past two or three years, I have been forced to realize that my physical strength, mental energy, and memory are all declining at an accelerating rate. I can push myself for a moment, but it doesn't last, and I feel the frustration of not being able to do things I used to do effortlessly. Above all, there is the irritation that everything has become "troublesome and a nuisance."

I see—so this is what it means to grow old.

Elderly people live with a complex mix of contradictory emotions: a sense of misery, a feeling of being out of place, resignation, anger, and occasional defiance.

Every elderly person has their own rhythm of life and their own way of doing things. While it is fine for those around them to worry because they look unsteady, they absolutely do not want unwanted interference or "educational guidance" intended for their own good. They have had enough of living while worrying about what others think. I believe this is the true feeling of the elderly.

Interacting with the elderly begins with knowing these true feelings. The core is to maintain a proper distance based on the principle of "keep an eye on them, but don't interfere," regardless of their condition. I wrote this book thinking that if people handle things this way, both the elderly and the caregivers will feel much more at ease.

Recommendations for "Non-Serious" Caregiving as Taught by a Doctor

Nobuo Otsuka

PHP Research Centers and Institutes

176 pages, 1,320 yen (tax included)

*Affiliations and titles are as of the time this magazine was published.