"A Doctor's Recommendation for 'Non-Serious' Caregiving"

2022/07/13

There are countless books in this world offering advice and mindsets from the perspective of the caregiver. People who have actually experienced caregiving provide specific advice on methods and mental attitudes, or realistically describe their feelings as caregivers, covering topics such as how to interact, how to speak, and how to handle situations when they arise.

In the 40-plus years since I began working with elderly care facilities as a physician, I have interacted with many seniors and their families. One thing that has always concerned me is the gap between the lifestyle and care desired by the families who place their loved ones in facilities and the seniors who are placed there.

What many families want is a regular routine: eating three full meals, bathing every day, and as much rehabilitation as possible. The desire of the individuals themselves is to live as freely as possible according to their mood at that moment. They want to wake up when they wake up, eat what they like, bathe once a week (which is enough), and wonder what the point of working hard at rehab is at this stage in their lives.

Now that I am over 80, I am still working and am not in a state of needing what is commonly called "nursing care." However, over the last two or three years, I have been forced to realize that my physical strength, energy, and memory are all declining at an accelerating pace. I can push myself for a moment, but it doesn't last, and there is the frustration of not being able to do things I used to do effortlessly. Above all, there is the irritation that everything has become "a chore" or "too much trouble"...

I see—so this is what it means to grow old.

Seniors live with a complex tangle of contradictory emotions: a sense of wretchedness, a feeling of being somehow out of place, resignation, and anger, along with occasional defiance.

Every senior has their own rhythm of life and their own way of doing things. While it is fine for those around them to worry that they look unsteady, they want no part of unsolicited interference or "educational guidance" done with good intentions. They have had enough of living while constantly worrying about what others think. This, I believe, is how seniors truly feel.

Interacting with the elderly starts with understanding these true feelings. The core is to maintain a proper distance based on the principle of "keep an eye on them, but don't interfere," regardless of their condition. I wrote this book with the hope that by approaching care in this way, both the seniors and the caregivers would feel much more at ease.

"A Doctor's Recommendation for 'Non-Serious' Caregiving"

Nobuo Otsuka

PHP Research Centers and Institutes

176 pages, 1,320 yen (tax included)

*Affiliations and titles are as of the time of publication.