Kyozo Ishikawa: How to Enjoy the Solitude of Aging

2021/06/23

As we age, we increasingly lose irreplaceable things. Retirement means losing a job that felt like an extension of oneself, as well as the human connections with friends and acquaintances made through that work. We are struck by tragedies such as the death of a spouse, divorce, or the passing of close relatives and dear friends. Elderly people with such backgrounds are prone to falling into solitude. The elderly are always standing near the entrance to loneliness.

The novel coronavirus disease (COVID-19), which originated mainly in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China, and has continued to spread as a pandemic, has been raging for over a year. As preventive measures, in addition to wearing masks and washing hands, there are strong requests to avoid the "Three Cs" (Closed spaces, Crowded places, Close-contact settings) and to refrain from non-essential outings. It is a fact that this is further thinning the social connections of the elderly, which were already becoming sparse. As a result, environments that cause loneliness are increasing, potentially encouraging progression toward sarcopenia (a state of decreased muscle mass leading to loss of strength and physical function), frailty (a state where physiological reserve decreases with age, making one prone to health problems), and further cognitive decline. To prevent such a situation, one should thoroughly implement recommended prevention methods while continuing efforts to maintain close human interaction by finding ways to avoid close contact. Talking on the phone or having email conversations via smartphones or computers is good, but I particularly recommend interaction through handwritten letters. Composing sentences activates the brain and has the effect of improving cognitive function. On the other hand, the recipient can enjoy the benefit of a calmed heart through the warmth transmitted by the handwriting.

When we are conscious of being lonely, it is a mental and psychological state of isolation from the surrounding world, and a certain sense of loneliness is recognized. Solitude often carries a dark image of being abandoned and forgotten by the world, but on the other hand, it has a bright side where one can temporarily leave the harsh reality and spend time freely in a healing virtual space.

When in solitude, a sense of liberation from the hassles of reality and a feeling of openness—that it no longer matters what happens—gradually wells up from within. Because I have memories of such positive developments from solitude, becoming lonely does not bother me that much. Rather, I believe that by placing myself in a state of solitude, I can realign my mental posture.

By being alone, it becomes easier to leave the real world and enter a world of imagination and fantasy. Once I step into a state of solitude, I ponder what kind of situation to set for my imaginary scene. Then, various scenes immediately come to mind. Among them, scenes of struggling under difficult and harsh circumstances often appear. I then experience a sense of self-praise, thinking that although there were many troublesome things back then, I somehow managed to pull through. When I think that the confidence of having overcome those harsh situations confirms my current existence, I always feel energized.

Also, when in solitude, the faces of various people come to mind. Many of them are people I can no longer meet. Scenes of being with those people come to mind one after another, and for just a short time, I can immerse myself in memories and spend an enjoyable time.

Solitude is like a study where you can face yourself without being disturbed by anyone and stay alone for as long as you like.

In fact, I often enter a state of solitude while surrendering myself to an easy chair in my study, lamenting my boredom. Outside of the study, I often enjoy solitude while taking a stroll near my house. In particular, the solitude I experience while leisurely walking through a forest park about 20 minutes on foot from my house has become an important source of mental peace for me now.

While confined in solitude, it is fine to expose any unsightly version of yourself, and there is no need to pretend by thinking "I must be a good person." You can just be yourself as you are.

However, if you start to feel so comfortable that you want to stay lonely forever, you should step out of it for the time being. There is no need for a long stay. If you immerse yourself in that comfort indefinitely, you may become unable to escape, and there is a danger of eventually falling into a state of social withdrawal. For the elderly, solitude can be both a poison and a medicine. It is essential to maintain a moderate relationship with solitude.

In my recent book, "Solitude in Old Age is a Time for Adventure" (Kawade Shobo Shinsha), I touched upon the joy of adventure in exploring the possibilities of what I can do now in the critical situations that come with old age. Old age is a time for adventure.